Back when I lived on lentil soup and hotdogs (kids are weird) my dad used to make me fettucini carbonara. It’s a fond childhood taste-memory that I haven’t thought to duplicate since living pig-free. But I was hit with a craving for it again and sought a way to make it both wheat-free and meat-free*. I think the results are quite tasty. See what you think:

*Disclaimer: I am not a fan, and have never been, of strange veggie substitutes for meat like fake-on (veggie bacon? Does it exist? It must), not-dogs, tofurkey, etc. Either eat meat or don’t, if you ask me. Besides, those weird fakes usually have gluten in them.

Gluten-Free, Bacon-Free Fettucini Carbonara (with umph!)

Gluten-Free, Bacon-Free Fettucini Carbonara (with umph!)

Fettucini Carbonara for Gluten-Free Rabbits

  • 1 package of rice fettucini (I like De Boles or Tinkyada)
  • 4 oz. cream cheese
  • 3.5 oz. baby bella mushrooms
  • 1 small onion
  • 4 garlic cloves
  • 1 bunch of broccolini
  • 1 c. of veggie broth
  • 1/4 c. white wine
  • 1 T olive oil
  • 1 T butter
  • 1/8-1/4 tsp. chipotle chili flakes (depending on the size of your cojones)
  • gads of freshly ground black pepper
  • hefty chunk of pecorino romano

I’m just going to assume you can cook pasta without my help. Honk if you can’t. Right. So.

For the sauce: Mince onions, mushrooms, and garlic and saute in olive oil & butter. Add broth and cream cheese. Wisk so cream cheese dissolves in the broth and makes a thin, creamy sauce. Add wine, chipotle chili flakes and the freshly ground pepper and simmer. When the pasta is almost done, chop up the broccolini and put on top of the simmering sauce. Cover and steam until just tender. Pour over the pasta and serve with GADS of grated romano. Ah, memories!